Sometimes you just have to play the game...

My eldest son is nine years old and was diagnosed with Autistic Spectrum Disorder when he was three. I won't go into all of that now, but I would like to share a moment that might shed a little light on what it can be like for a child, and a parent.

Yesterday my son wanted me to install the ipad app he loves at the moment called My Singing Monsters so he could give me little tutorials. The day got away from us ans by the time he reminded me I had to go to the supermarket and buy groceries. It was 8pm, my husband had not long arrived home from work and everyone was getting ready to go to bed. We ran out of time. I told him we would do it tomorrow but he kept saying "be quick so we can do it before I go to bed" and I kept telling him shopping would take me longer than that.

I left, did my shopping and everything else I had to do and returned just before 10pm and he was still awake. Apparently he had been refusing to go to sleep, arguing with his father for hours and had been constantly in a state of upset over the game. Just that one little thing was enough to stop him being able to go to sleep. So I sat with my ipad and for five minutes I let him show me how to play the first few steps of My Singing Monsters and he was able to relax and go to sleep.

This kind of situation is common for a child on the spectrum. It's actually quite mild compared to some of the tales I have heard from other parents and some of the other situations we have had. But it is a simple example of how they can get hung up on an idea and how it can completely throw off everything for them until the situation is rectified. It's not because they are being difficult or disobedient which is something many do not understand. It's not a simple matter of telling them to go to bed and let it go, but a process of working through what they need. And no, it's not always easy to stay calm. Sometimes it can be frustrating. Sometimes there are arguments, sometimes we can work things out with conversation and an understanding with clear boundaries of when things will happen. Other times, like last night, we just needed to spend five minutes playing a game.