Fight for Equality - Why are we still arguing over same sex marriage?

Last night, like most nights, I sat and watched TV with my husband. I am heterosexual and I am married and that is Ok. What if I turned that around and said ‘last night I sat with my wife and watched TV?' Suddenly this is not OK because the other person in this relationship is the same gender. Why could I not call the significant other in my life my wife? Why do I, as a heterosexual woman, have the right to marry a man but I would not have the same rights to marry a woman? Some may wonder why I see it as important. These laws don’t affect me so why argue for them? Call me radical but I believe everyone deserves the same rights regardless of gender, gender identity or sexual orientation. Because in 2017 we are still denying people equal rights. Some are still saying non heterosexuals are different so they do not deserve the same rights. We are them, they are us. We are all the same but for the gender of the person we happen to fall in love with. But only heterosexual couples deserve the right to marriage? That is not OK.

Some may argue that marriage is a religious sanction overseen by God. In 2015 there were 113,595 marriages and 74.9% of these were overseen by civil celebrants. This percentage is increasing every year as more Australians move away from Church sanctioned marriage ceremonies. According to the 2016 census, 37% of the Australian population identified as non-religious. Yet another number that is on the rise. In 2015 52,400 same sex couples were identified in Australia. 52,400 couples that currently are unable to marry if they wanted to. Approximately 11% of Australians are of diverse sexual orientation, sex or gender identity. 2,710,582 Australians who do not identify on the binary gender scale that may at some point in their lives wish to make a formal, legal commitment to a life partner. These statistics are readily available on the ABS website and the Australian Human Rights Commission Website.

So, what about the belief that children have the right to a mother and father? Major psychology associations in both Australia and the United States have found no difference in stability and commitment between same sex couples and heterosexual couples. There is no disadvantage to the children at all. Single parents all over the world successfully raise children. Same sex couples all over the world successfully raise children. Blended families successfully raise children. Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, relatives and even friends are often called upon to successfully raise children. The key is a loving, nurturing environment and this is not binary. Yet we live in a country where a registered sex offender is granted parental rights but couples who happen to be the same gender are still questioned? I’m sure we all remember baby Gammy, abandoned by his biological parents because he has Down Syndrome while his sister was taken home. That little girl was ordered by the courts to live with her father, David Farnell, a convicted child sex offender. That is not OK.

But some would say ‘We’re not stopping same sex couples living in a relationship or forming a civil union’ or ‘It’s just a piece of paper, why does it matter?’ Why does it matter to a heterosexual couple to get married? Of course, there are the emotional and psychological elements of that commitment but what about the legal side? If my husband dies it is automatically assumed that I am his next of kin. I can access his insurance and superannuation and make decisions on his behalf. It’s not that easy for a couple in a defacto relationship. They may appear to have the same rights on the surface but it’s not always so. There is a great deal of red tape, hoops to jump through, relationships to prove with support of friends and family. While these issues apply to any couple in a defacto relationship those in same sex relationships do not have the choice. And that is the soul of the matter is it not? Choice? Choice to say ‘I love this person with every fibre of my being and I want to commit my life to them in every way. I want them to be my next of kin. To be legally responsible for me should something happen. To not have to fight for recognition as spouse during a time of grief, should something happen'. There are so many stories of men and women denied the rights to make funeral decisions, attend funerals or even be with their loved ones as they pass. Men and women who wish to honour their loved ones wishes but can’t because their relationship is not acknowledged legally enough. That is not OK.

Argentina, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, Colombia, Denmark, Finland, France, Iceland, Ireland, Luxembourg, Mexico, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Portugal, South Africa, Spain, Sweden, the United Kingdom, the United States, Taiwan, Uruguay and Germany all have legalised same sex marriage. Twenty-five countries have realised the need for equality and the need to move forward into a time where there is zero discrimination. Australia is meant to be a progressive country but we seem stuck with archaic ideals where not all are created equal. Where the Government believes it has the right to say ‘you do not fit into this box so you do not deserve the same rights’. So, I ask you; Why is that OK? Why have we not moved past this? It is time for Australia to step up. It is time for Australia to show the world that we do not discriminate against ethnicity, religion, physical features, gender identity or sexual preference. It is time for Australia to allow everyone the same rights, the same opportunities. It is time to make this OK.